When the Server’s Not the Only Thing Ignoring You

A Tech Woman’s Guide to Staying Sane, Sharp & Savage

I want to talk about something I call “digital gaslighting” — where you’re seen but not acknowledged. Where silence isn’t just rude – instead, it’s triggering.

Let’s get real: This isn’t about being "too sensitive" or "too emotional." It’s about being consistently dismissed, delayed, or ignored — especially by certain people who reply to each other in milliseconds but treat your voice like it is background noise.  

We’re not overreacting. However, I think we need to stop under-responding. Instead, start owning the digital space we are in.

What is REALLY happening when someone doesn’t respond to you for weeks on end?

You, my friend, are experiencing what we at St3mTech call an emotional DDoS attack:  Typically, it comes in this form:

• Passive-aggressive delays

• Invisibility cloaked as “being busy”

• Gaslighty micro-ghosting

• Subtle “you don’t belong here” energy

So just like any good firewall, you start overheating. Not because you’re fragile, but because your time, energy, and insight deserve a proper response.

😤 So What Do You Do When You’re Triggered by Silence?

1. Run Your Own Diagnostic

Pause before exploding. Ask yourself: “Am I mad at this person… or the entire system they represent?” Clarity is your command line. Use it.

2. Don’t Burn the Bridge — Hack the Gate

Respond, but do it with class and elegance, where sass meets strategy. For example, you can say something like: “Hey Rob, just following up before I timeout completely 😉 Looking forward to syncing up!” It’s confident, classy, and makes it very clear:  You’re not here to beg. You’re here to engage.

3. Cooldown Before You Code Red

Have that coffee. Go for a walk. Scream into a throw pillow. Whatever works. Just don’t let someone’s silent arrogance hijack your bandwidth.  Control the tempo. You’re the sysadmin of your emotions.

4.  Remember Who You Are

You’re not “too much.”  You’re just operating on a frequency their legacy systems can’t process. You are the mainframe - they, however, are still running on emotional Windows 95.

REAL Talk: If They’re Ignoring You Now? 🚩

They’ll ignore you later, too.  If a company’s response time to a potential client, collaborator, or cyber-savvy woman is slower than a deprecated backup script — that’s your preview of their culture. And we don’t onboard with latency issues.

TL;DR – The ST3MTECH Takeaway:

When you’re triggered by silence,  don’t explode — escalate with elegance. Craft a clever response.  Take a breath. And never forget:  You belong here. Even if they pretend not to see you.  We see you. 💋

And remember, you don’t have to navigate this field alone. ST3MTECH was built by a woman who’s lived it — and we’re here to help you protect your peace, your career, and your boundaries.

Whether you’re dealing with burnout, tech bro energy, or just trying to be heard in a loud room, we’ve got your back! Because brains, resilience, and a whole lot of sass? That’s our specialty! 🛡️💋